Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Endings...

I love spring. 
It's a gardening thing, and it underscores my true nature as an optimist. When I squat down and peer over my garden, where a more objective person would see shoots, some weeds, a few clumps of new perennials and lots of bare ground, I see what's coming. I don't mean this in a metaphorical way. I mean, I really envision what will be there in a week or a month or in late July. I get excited about the possibility in the green. 

This is also what makes me a little sad this time of year. The beginning of my gardening marks the end of the school year. 

Most of my faculty colleagues love our job because basically we are done teaching late April. Sure, most of us do some spring teaching, or workshops and always there are meetings. But the bulk of our main teaching with the students we know best is done. 
I miss them!
I miss the busyness of the college. It's really strange to me that there can be thousands of people crowding the halls and staircases one day, then almost no one the next. 

I miss their eagerness, their trust in me, their ridiculous excuses, their popping by my office to chat, ("Are you busy?"), and I absolutely adore their brilliant, probing, sometimes hesitant questions. 

I especially miss the graduating students. The ones I likely won't see again until at least convocation, if at all. I become very attached to my students over their two or three years in the program. I have a penchant for seeing them as individuals and not as a 'class'. The severing of these connections is not as easy for me as I think it should be, as a professional. I really LIKE my students, even the 'annoying' ones. It's hard for me when they move on, move past us, when we have become surrogate parents for may of them! 

As many move to Toronto, it's not easy to stay in touch. Online social networking has made it easier, but it's not the same as seeing them every day. 

I miss seeing the possibility in the green.


3 comments:

  1. What can I say, some of us are green-less, yet full of seeds and destinations. We are waiting for the summer without a slightest inkling of how much we will miss the winter.

    No……. not the winter, but you, and everything you do for us. No matter if you are furious or exultant, poignant or elated, it is the connection,…… that’s pulling us all together.

    No matter whether you like it or not, bonds are created and will not be broken, or forgotten anytime soon.

    Professors change our worlds. They manage to askew our definition of what we see as a congenial and gratifying future. We need you as much as you need us.. ☺))

    Enjoy your summer, grass, sun and indefinable future.

    Viktor M.

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  2. Well said my Kazia!
    It is your passion for people and your sincere desire to help them 'grow' that makes you a profound educator. Your students are very lucky to have you as their professor.

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  3. Oh my, what a writer you are Kath! This all brings tears to my eyes. (in a good way!)

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