Thursday, March 24, 2011

Babies and students and teenagers...OH MY!

I just found out - I mean JUST found out - not two minutes ago that one of my best friends in the entire world is pregnant. I can't stop crying. A million thoughts race through my mind about all that is she is about to face in the coming months and years. Another of my favourite people in the world also told me this week he and his wife are expecting. I can't even describe the strange, giddy, empathetic joy I feel on their behalf.

It's mingled with some grieving on my part. I am almost - officially later this year - the mom of three teenage sons, my youngest being 12. And I fight with these feelings that my work of being a mom is nearly done. I know, I know...people will claim they need me now more than ever. And I understand the whole guidance thing. But it's different. I'm raising Cameron to be self-sufficient enough NOT to need me. What an odd job. It's like a charity working to put itself out of business by raising enough funds to end a disorder. And it hurts sometimes.

And then one of my amazing students wrote me a card last week calling me his "second mom" and again there I was crying my ridiculous eyes out.

The kids we give birth to (or adopt) aren't our only chance to parent. We can take genuine care of nieces and we can help friends with their babies when they are sleep deprived and on the edge of insanity. And soon there will be grand-babies (but not TOO soon! You hear me MP and CP?). And then there are my students, who sometimes need a mom more than they need a lecturer.

I have a lot of kids.